By Astrid Hall

No kisses on text messages, women saying ‘I’m fine’ and locking the bathroom door when showering are all signs men are in the doghouse, a study has found.

A poll of 2,000 women has given men a helpful insight into how they can tell if their partner is cross with them, without her having to utter a single word.

Going to bed early to read and not making their partner a cup of tea when they make themselves one are also ways women show men they aren’t in their good books.

And two thirds of women admit that if they’ve got the hump with their other half the last thing they want to do is talk to them.

Louise Harper-King, a spokeswoman for which carried out the study, said: “From this research we gained an interesting insight into the female psyche, where a lot of women will have the same attitude when mad at their blokes.

“I think it’s fair to say that all couples have their ups and downs and we often regret how we respond in the heat of the moment.

“That being said, it was interesting to see how many women will drop more subtle hints compared to brash reactions.”

Giving short responses such as ‘I’m fine’ when he asks about your day is the top way women show men they are in the dog house, followed by going to bed ahead of him to read.

Lying in bed with their back to him instead of spooning, not putting kisses on the end of text messages and refusing to respond to any affection completed the top five.

Others admit to punishing their partner by hiding the TV remote or his favourite DVDs while some leave his favourite beer out on the side to get warm.

Nearly one in five women will drop more obvious hints of their hatred by slamming doors with some going as far as to withhold sex.

Men also know they’re in trouble when her phone screensaver changes from a picture of you to the family pet or she watches ahead of a TV series without you.

Women even admit to ‘forgetting’ to make their partner’s dinner or lunches and even order a solo takeaway, subjecting their partner to fridge leftovers.

The survey also found that men are most likely to find themselves in the doghouse because they are pretending to listen to their partner but watching the TV instead.

Women are also left irritated when their man gets home later than they said they would, doesn’t reply to text messages or insults their friend or relative.

But six in ten women say their partner is usually slow to catch on when they are mad at them, with men taking an average of four hours to realise they are in the doghouse.

And more than of females women feel more aggravated when their partner fails to notice their annoyance.

Despite women’s gripes and grumbles, 65 per cent agree arguments are all part of a healthy relationship where three quarters will regret being mad in the first place.

And men are doing what they can to redeem themselves, with a quarter becoming more affectionate and one in five using sweet talk to find out why they’re in trouble.

One in ten men will buy their lady flowers for forgiveness with 48 per cent going in with a straight apology when seeking repentance.


Top 30 signs men are in the doghouse:
1. Giving short responses such as “I’m fine” when he asks you about your day
2. Going to bed early to read
3. Rolling over in bed rather than spooning as usual
4. Not putting kisses on the end of a text message
5. Not responding to any gestures of affection
6. Leaving the house without kissing goodbye
7. Not replying to his messages as quickly as normal
8. Busying herself with chores rather than sitting down to watch a bit of TV
9. Slam the doors
10. Withholding sex
11. Not making him a cup of tea when making yourself one
12. Slamming the dishes on the side when unpacking the dishwasher
13. Not waiting up for them to get in after they’ve been on a night out
14. Read his text messages so he gets the ‘read receipt’ but don’t reply
15. Spending all evening on the phone to girlfriends rather than talking to him
16. Locking the bathroom door when showering
17. Hog the bed
18. Not helping out with his washing
19. Watch a film he hates but you refuse to switch it off
20. Forgetting to make the dinner
21. Forgetting to iron his shirts
22. Watch the next episode of an exciting TV series without him even though you’ve promised you’d watch it together
23. Using the end of the milk / bread and not bothering to buy anymore
24. Forgetting to make his lunch for work
25. Wear an outfit or comfy clothes around the house that you know he hates
26. Putting on your pyjamas and taking off make up before they get home from work
27. Leaving his favourite beer on the side to get warm
28. Stay at your parent’s/friend’s house overnight
29. Eat something smelly for when he gives you a kiss
30. Changing your screensaver or wallpaper on your phone from a picture of him to someone else



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